Make Believe Hurry
Citizens United v. Citizens United

Citizens United v. Citizens United

My ego is too big to fail. Standing at the cash register, covering for the cashier ...

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Dance, Vladimir, Dance.

Dance, Vladimir, Dance.

It’s being called a hoax, Jew Registration in East Ukraine. 2-things aren’t funny: Black Face ...

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Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

Farewell to Wisconsin. We’ll miss the cheese. We’ll miss the cheeseheads. But we won’t miss your ...

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To Be Brutal. To Be Frank.

“I’ve waited my whole life to be this thin,” my dad’s mom said. She was lying in a hospital bed, dying of cancer.  It was the last thing she ever said. When his mom died, my dad was already a … finish reading To Be Brutal. To Be Frank.

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K.I.S.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid…Seriously)

The beauty in food is simplicity. The trick to cooking food is maintaining simplicity. Corn only needs to be boiled for 5 minutes. The water should be salty like the sea. Slice corn off the cob, toss into a salad … finish reading K.I.S.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid…Seriously)

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7:04AM

It happened. It already happened. 2-days back. Already I got a phone call. “Max’s Deli,” I answered the phone. “I need to talk to someone who understands enough to answer my question.” “I understand enough,” I replied. “Not more than … finish reading 7:04AM

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Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Lack Of Genius

Kanye West watched himself on The Jimmy Kimmel Show and jerked-off. The interview is broken down into 6-parts on YouTube, which, in the case of Kanye West, is 6-loads, 6-glorious loads. Getting-off seeing himself on camera is the final jump … finish reading Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Lack Of Genius

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Jet Lag & Cappuccinos

Last night, I planned on seeing John Oliver at Chicago Theatre. I even turned down a dinner invitation from mom, something I never normally do. One of my most sacred rules for keeping life buoyant is never turn down the opportunity … finish reading Jet Lag & Cappuccinos

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God Bless Miley Cyrus

“Romanians are the Mexicans of Italy,” I said as we walked away from the menu girl standing outside of a restaurant hawking food to tourists as they strolled the streets leading up to the Spanish Steps. “That’s not nice,” my … finish reading God Bless Miley Cyrus

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Give Caesar His Passie

Antonin Scalia “suspects” he has gay friends. He can’t be sure, since Antonin can’t be bothered to ask, even though asking tough questions is the most important part of his job. On the flip side, Antonin knows for sure there’s … finish reading Give Caesar His Passie

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Quarantadue

8-minutes. The fighting in the car began over 8-minutes. We weren’t even in the airport. We hadn’t even checked-in our bags. We hadn’t even confirmed our seats. Already, Joey was 8-minutes late for the cab ride to the airport. In … finish reading Quarantadue

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Shutdown Wank

Michele Bachmann is into idea based porn instead of sex based porn. Her audience gets-off on watching her on-camera, proving what a gigantic hard-on she has for “freedom.” The shutdown isn’t a negotiating tactic. It’s a circle jerk. Affordable Care … finish reading Shutdown Wank

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The Lion, The Bitch And The Whoredrobe

Ted Cruz refuses to give-up his paycheck, if there’s a government shut down. Who’s giving him a choice? Ted Cruz held the Senate hostage when he spent 21-hours filibustering Affordable Care. Now the House of Representatives is holding the American … finish reading The Lion, The Bitch And The Whoredrobe

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments