Make Believe Hurry
Dance, Vladimir, Dance.

Dance, Vladimir, Dance.

It’s being called a hoax, Jew Registration in East Ukraine. 2-things aren’t funny: Black Face ...

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Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

Farewell to Wisconsin. We’ll miss the cheese. We’ll miss the cheeseheads. But we won’t miss your ...

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Supreme Court v. Common Decency

Supreme Court v. Common Decency

8Andy texted, “It’s a pissed-off soldier. There’s no angle for gun confiscation. Tell the International ...

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K.I.S.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid…Seriously)

The beauty in food is simplicity. The trick to cooking food is maintaining simplicity. Corn only needs to be boiled for 5 minutes. The water should be salty like the sea. Slice corn off the cob, toss into a salad … finish reading K.I.S.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid…Seriously)

Posted in Food Fight | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

7:04AM

It happened. It already happened. 2-days back. Already I got a phone call. “Max’s Deli,” I answered the phone. “I need to talk to someone who understands enough to answer my question.” “I understand enough,” I replied. “Not more than … finish reading 7:04AM

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Lack Of Genius

Kanye West watched himself on The Jimmy Kimmel Show and jerked-off. The interview is broken down into 6-parts on YouTube, which, in the case of Kanye West, is 6-loads, 6-glorious loads. Getting-off seeing himself on camera is the final jump … finish reading Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Lack Of Genius

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Jet Lag & Cappuccinos

Last night, I planned on seeing John Oliver at Chicago Theatre. I even turned down a dinner invitation from mom, something I never normally do. One of my most sacred rules for keeping life buoyant is never turn down the opportunity … finish reading Jet Lag & Cappuccinos

Posted in Gregor, Please! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

God Bless Miley Cyrus

“Romanians are the Mexicans of Italy,” I said as we walked away from the menu girl standing outside of a restaurant hawking food to tourists as they strolled the streets leading up to the Spanish Steps. “That’s not nice,” my … finish reading God Bless Miley Cyrus

Posted in Tears & Popcorn | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Give Caesar His Passie

Antonin Scalia “suspects” he has gay friends. He can’t be sure, since Antonin can’t be bothered to ask, even though asking tough questions is the most important part of his job. On the flip side, Antonin knows for sure there’s … finish reading Give Caesar His Passie

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Quarantadue

8-minutes. The fighting in the car began over 8-minutes. We weren’t even in the airport. We hadn’t even checked-in our bags. We hadn’t even confirmed our seats. Already, Joey was 8-minutes late for the cab ride to the airport. In … finish reading Quarantadue

Posted in Greg's Billion Dollar Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shutdown Wank

Michele Bachmann is into idea based porn instead of sex based porn. Her audience gets-off on watching her on-camera, proving what a gigantic hard-on she has for “freedom.” The shutdown isn’t a negotiating tactic. It’s a circle jerk. Affordable Care … finish reading Shutdown Wank

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The Lion, The Bitch And The Whoredrobe

Ted Cruz refuses to give-up his paycheck, if there’s a government shut down. Who’s giving him a choice? Ted Cruz held the Senate hostage when he spent 21-hours filibustering Affordable Care. Now the House of Representatives is holding the American … finish reading The Lion, The Bitch And The Whoredrobe

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Brat In The Hat

Let’s repeal the repealers. Let’s overturn unaffordable care. Let’s declare open season on the NRA. Let’s take the brats off the tit, starting with the brat in the hat, Ted Cruz. We need a constitutional amendment declaring it’s over, when … finish reading The Brat In The Hat

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments