Make Believe Hurry
Citizens United v. Citizens United

Citizens United v. Citizens United

My ego is too big to fail. Standing at the cash register, covering for the cashier ...

Read More

Dance, Vladimir, Dance.

Dance, Vladimir, Dance.

It’s being called a hoax, Jew Registration in East Ukraine. 2-things aren’t funny: Black Face ...

Read More

Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

Farewell to Wisconsin. We’ll miss the cheese. We’ll miss the cheeseheads. But we won’t miss your ...

Read More

Everything Changes On New Years Day

Puked so hard, my hemorrhoids came back. Woke up with a beautiful woman crashed out in the living room on my couch. I think her name was Meeka. But I’m not sure. I texted 3-managers I work with at 5AM … finish reading Everything Changes On New Years Day

Posted in Greg's Billion Dollar Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Free Snowden

Grant Edward Snowden Amnesty. Grant Edward Snowden Clemency. Welcome Edward Snowden home with a ticker tape parade. “Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.”  What a charade. Let’s earn back the right to think of ourselves in lyrical phrases, … finish reading Free Snowden

Posted in Gregor, Please! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Resolutions For 2014

Here’s a resolution, I resolve to compare myself daily to arbitrary people on arbitrary lists. Here’s another resolution, I resolve to spend 87% of my waking hours defending myself against dimwits. Here’s yet another resolution, I resolve to pick up … finish reading Resolutions For 2014

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Born On The 24th Of December

The gift of being born on Christmas Eve is you learn, early on, it’s not about you. The lights. The festivities. The gifts. They’re not about you. As a child, it’s tough to take. As a grown up, it’s reassuring. … finish reading Born On The 24th Of December

Posted in Greg's Billion Dollar Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Me Blog You Long Time

I love the holiday season because it reminds me how much I love Chinese food. I love Chinatown because it has Chinese food. I love my friend Hannah Wang because she’s Chinese and her entire family takes me to Chinatown. … finish reading Me Blog You Long Time

Posted in Food Fight | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Megyn Kelly: Septuagenarian Fantasy Girl

The moment the teleprompter begins rolling, and Megyn Kelly opens her mouth, she becomes the antidote to Viagra. How’s it possible? How can someone so outwardly attractive be so inwardly repulsive? How?!! Santa Claus isn’t white. He’s green, the color … finish reading Megyn Kelly: Septuagenarian Fantasy Girl

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Let It Ride In Vegas, Baby!

I wanna sleep-in hungover and pay for room service with Food Stamps. I wanna flush magical paranoia powder down the toilet after mainlining fear. I wanna leverage my lack of self-awareness on the roulette table, Red 19. Spent the weekend … finish reading Let It Ride In Vegas, Baby!

Posted in Greg's Billion Dollar Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Oy Vey Person Of The Year, 2013

I dig Pope Francis. He’s the first Pope in my lifetime who seems to understand the importance of gestures like washing feet. Holding power isn’t about you. It’s about lifting the people around you. I dig Edward Snowden. He reminds … finish reading Oy Vey Person Of The Year, 2013

Posted in Gregor, Please! | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

UBUNTU

Barack Obama was blasted by the Twitterverse for taking a selfie with David Cameron and Helle Thorning-Schmidt at the funeral for Nelson Mandela. Even Michelle Obama looked annoyed. Here’s how I want things orchestrated at my funeral: lots of selfies, … finish reading UBUNTU

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Bernie Madoff In Correctional Casuals

I’m not what you’d typically imagine as a reader of the Wall Street Journal. All too often, I’m lumped in with the eye-roll crowd: left of left, loose cannon New York Times reading liberal. I’m used to the undertone of … finish reading Bernie Madoff In Correctional Casuals

Posted in Welcome To Backwards Land | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments