Make Believe Hurry
Dance, Vladimir, Dance.

Dance, Vladimir, Dance.

It’s being called a hoax, Jew Registration in East Ukraine. 2-things aren’t funny: Black Face ...

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Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

Farewell to Wisconsin. We’ll miss the cheese. We’ll miss the cheeseheads. But we won’t miss your ...

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Supreme Court v. Common Decency

Supreme Court v. Common Decency

8Andy texted, “It’s a pissed-off soldier. There’s no angle for gun confiscation. Tell the International ...

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Cancer Takes Steve Jobs, Gives Us Laughs

I’m writing a review of “50/50” on the night Steve Jobs died of Cancer. I never met him. I didn’t know him. But I love the things Steve Jobs created. In fact, I’m typing on a Mac. How can I … finish reading Cancer Takes Steve Jobs, Gives Us Laughs

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Crackerassholes Go Hunting For Niggerheads

I wouldn’t take my friends out for a night of dancing at Drag-A-Fag. I wouldn’t take my girlfriend shopping for a wedding ring at Slap-A-Bitch. I wouldn’t surprise my brother by accessorizing the kitchen of our next Jewish Deli at … finish reading Crackerassholes Go Hunting For Niggerheads

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Occupy Wall Street Spawns Occupy Chicago

In 2008, we elected Barack Obama to stand-up, not take it up the ass without the courtesy of KY, spit or at least blood. Barack must have forgotten. How else do you explain it? Besides surrounding the Oval Office with … finish reading Occupy Wall Street Spawns Occupy Chicago

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Big Nite

The 1st year of Joey’s Brickhouse was a bad dream. Every 2-weeks, to make payroll, my brother and I would take money out of our savings account. I sold my house. I sold my soul. Worst of all, I lost … finish reading Big Nite

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America Executes Troy Davis. Iran Frees Hikers. Breaking Same Day News!

Troy Davis was executed tonight. I got the news as I was walking out of the gym. Joey and I had worked all day with Dad on my trial, which is happening first thing tomorrow morning. After working with Dad, … finish reading America Executes Troy Davis. Iran Frees Hikers. Breaking Same Day News!

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clASS warfare

I want to thank my Mom for encouraging me to write. I got insecure, this week. I watched a video of Lady Gaga on Howard Stern. Watching those two, at the peak of their craft, knowing they’re still climbing, that’s … finish reading clASS warfare

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clASS warfare

I want to thank my Mom for encouraging me to write. I got insecure, this week. I watched a video of Lady Gaga on Howard Stern. Watching those two, at the peak of their craft, knowing they’re still climbing, that’s … finish reading clASS warfare

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Cooking for Howard Stern in NYC

In 1998, I landed an Executive Chef gig, on the Upper West Side of NYC, at Citrus Bar and Grill. In an attempt to compete with Bobby Flay’s budding empire, I was hired to convert the menu from South West … finish reading Cooking for Howard Stern in NYC

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The Day Before 9/12

Please, stop. It’s been 10-years of holding 1-day over the head of a nation. It doesn’t unify us. If anything, it’s the opposite. Just yesterday, there was a “terror threat” which ended up not being a “terror threat.” This very … finish reading The Day Before 9/12

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1st Stage of Political Grief

Fuck Mitt Romney. Fuck his hair. Fuck everyone who says Mitt Romney looks “Presidential.” I’d rather watch Ron Paul at the podium, fidgeting. Ron looks crazy but at least he knows what he’s talking about. Why do we mistake being … finish reading 1st Stage of Political Grief

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