Paul Ryan revealed his new budget. He wants to repeal the Affordable Care Act, which re-affirms the republican position: troubled assets get relief, but if you’re a troubled person, go to Hell.
Speaking of Hell, 115 men pick The Pope. No women participate in the decision. I called God, to see what She thought. But She was too busy trying to make dinner reservations at Girl & The Goat.
6-month old Jonylah Watkins was shot 5 times. She was shot 5 times while her father was changing her diaper. The dirty diaper survived. The father is in critical condition. Jonylah is dead. No news here. Just another day in America.
Moving right along…
Judge Milton Tingling overturned Mayor Bloomberg’s ban on supersized sugary drinks saying the ban is plagued with “capricious consequences,” unlike obesity and diabetes, which are “no biggie.”
Justin Timberlake told Jimmy Fallon he wasn’t dissing Kanye West for dissing “Suit & Tie,” the pop star’s newest hit single currently climbing the charts. The war of words seemed to escalate this weekend when JT changed the lyrics of his song from “shit so sick got a hit and picked up a habit” to “my hit’s so sick got rappers acting dramatic.”
I called Kanye West to see what he thought. But he was too busy dissing God for not having the personal cell phone number of Girl & The Goat’s namesake, Stephanie Izard.