The best part of Les Miserables is watching Anne Hathaway die. Between her exhausting string of acceptance speeches at awards shows this year, and abysmal hosting duties at last year’s Oscars, it was cathartic to sit in a dark theater and watch that bitch die.
Silver Linings Playbook is precious, right up there with Tender Mercies, Shawshank Redemption and Pretty Woman. I don’t even like Pretty Woman all that much. But my dad loves Pretty Woman. My dad looooves Pretty Woman, especially Julia Roberts.
We once saw Julia Roberts in a restaurant in New York City. I walked quickly past her table, trying to be coy, giving Miss Roberts the respect of pretending I didn’t notice her. But my dad slowed down, literally stopping to point. Looking back, I wish I had, too.
Beasts of the Southern Wild is the silly string your 5-year old daughter gave you for Christmas. You didn’t realize how much you wanted it until you unwrapped it. And by the way, the clunky job of wrapping the gift only made the gift more precious.
Amour is so Fucking French, you want to scream, “Ok, we get it, you’re Fucking French!” It’s not fun. It’s not easy to watch. If you recommend it to friends, you’re a sadist. But I will say, having endured this film (it’s not a movie, it’s a film), the decision at the end underscores the deepest level of Amour.
Seth MacFarlane is the antidote for Ann Hathaway. That said, he still won’t be as funny as Ricky Gervais. No one will ever be allowed to be as funny as Ricky Gervais, even Ricky Gervais, who looked neutered the 2nd time he hosted The Golden Globes.
Is there anything else? Oh yeah, Lincoln, which I loved, but I loved this movie the same way my brother loves Da Bulls.
I get-off on politics. Joey gets-off on sports. They’re both dumb games where the players get paid too much money and end-up overdosing on attention. But when D.Rose returns to the court, it’ll be divine in much the same way it was divine to behold “Honest Abe,” as if his nickname were given to him out of irony, watching him finagle and horse trade and cajole to end slavery by ensuring passage of the 13th Amendment. Turns out, political bravery, and the surest sign you’ve stepped squarely into manhood, is only revealed in the truth behind the scenes, where caring isn’t celebrated, unless you slow down, sloooow down, literally stopping to point.