Why do I need to know about Kate Middleton’s pregnancy? So my parents can ask if I ever plan on getting married.
You get divorced to get on with your life. You get married to avoid being alone, to hide from yourself, to get away from getting on with your life. Especially if you get married before 30.
Why do I need to know about Kate Middleton’s pregnancy? So the world can celebrate Kate squeezing a baby out of her Royal Vagina. Please take notice, this is happening on the very same week a football player from The NFL shot and killed his girlfriend, and then himself, leaving behind a 3-month old. Hurray for royalty!
Speaking of royal nonsense, I’ve started to notice I only feel loneliness when I’m asked about why I’m not married, or dating. Until the question hits, and I’m forced to think about it, I’m fine. But after the question, as if by design, I feel defensive; I feel sadness; I feel loneliness creeping-in.
What a waste of energy…
Instead, let’s champion gun control. Instead, let’s champion divorce. Instead, let’s champion kids who make it to 30 without getting married. Let’s push aside baby announcements and instead, champion accomplishments.
Anyone can have a kid. That’s not an accomplishment.
Speaking of unprotected sex leading to pregnancy, Kate Middleton marrying into royalty isn’t an accomplishment. It’s a pretty girl’s easy-out. Kate Middleton getting pregnant isn’t an accomplishment. It’s the job description of being a duchess. Kate Middleton is a high-end whore. Her unborn child is a meal ticket. As for royalty, it’s a hoax, like helmets on the football field (ask Jay Cutler). Anything you’re born into is a hoax, besides your sexuality, which is a gift from an Imaginary God. Real accomplishments don’t make headlines. Real heroes don’t end-up on CNN. Real kings don’t wear crowns. Real love doesn’t need to put a ring on it.
Unless it’s a penis ring.