In Flight, Denzel Washington turns a plane upside down. In Lincoln, Daniel Day Lewis makes everyone aware he’s a “method actor,” so we can appreciate everything Lincoln did by turning The Union upside down to end slavery. In Silver Linings Playbook, Bradley Cooper turns his life upside down so he can find the courage to see his marriage for what it really is.
These movies are as good as anything I’ve seen, in a long time. I’d grown tired of Denzel Washington playing the character from Training Day in every movie since Training Day. As for Steven Spielberg, this is yet another schmaltzy movie, but of all his schmaltzy movies, it’s his best schmaltzy movie, even though the pretentiousness of Daniel Day Lewis not talking to anyone on set, so he can stay in character, is exhausting. I don’t know a lot about Bradley Cooper, besides his name, which is annoying. I’d rather not know anything about actors, including their names, so I can enjoy the characters they play, instead of admiring their acting ability.
Which brings me to Lindsay Lohan, who plays Elizabeth Taylor. I won’t be seeing this movie; even though, I hear it’s an instant classic in the realm of beyond horrible movies, right up there with Showgirls. At this point, I’m waiting for Lindsay Lohan to overdose, and die. It’s the role she’s playing. We can all pretend she’s not setting us up for that outcome. But we’d only be pretending, which is the opposite of what’s supposed to be going on, since we’re the audience and she’s the actor. Even though, at this point in time, actors aren’t actors. Not anymore. They’re celebrities, which is a fancy word for spoiled assholes.
Why am I being so harsh? Because it strikes me how unnecessary it is to turn everything upside down, just to set things back on the proper course. The past decade is the perfect example. These have been self-imposed hard times. The only reason we’re in a recession, and pretending there’s a Fiscal Cliff, is the make believe deficit we created out of a record surplus by going to war, twice, and funding two simultaneous wars with The Bush Tax Cuts.
The namesake of those tax cuts needs to be brought before an international war crimes tribunal to answer for his tax policies and obsession with war. It’s time for us to stop behaving like an audience, in this matter, and start behaving like citizens, which is a fancy word for motherfucking grown-ups.
By the way, hasn’t it been nice since the election? All the noise has been exposed for what it was: noise. President Obama is a two-term president, as he should be. Marriage is marriage, as it should be. Karl Rove has been exposed as an overpaid liar, which is what he always was, as far back as 2004, when he Swift Boated John Kerry; as far back as South Carolina, when he used push-polls to suggest John McCain fathered an out of wedlock black child; as far back as the beginning of his despicable career, when he called Ann Richards a lesbian, in Texas, a state that would rather secede from The Union than snap-out of the embarrassing stupor of homophobia.
Just before President Obama became a two-term president, at a gun show, Ted Nugent said if President Obama became a two-term president, he’d either be in jail or dead. Well, I don’t see him in an orange jumpsuit. So I’d like to personally pay for the bullet he shoots into the space otherwise occupied by a heart. I’m strictly holding Ted Nugent to his word.
This might sound upside down. But it’s right side up.