One of my oldest friends is Hank Ronnell. I bumped into him the other day, playing basketball. Hank approached me between games. We got to talking. He asked me to send him an email, letting him know when I publish a blog. Hank said he forgets to check-in, but loves my writing. Even though, compared to him, I’m to the left, way to the left.
He actually said, “Waaaaaaaay to the left.” This is odd. I hear it a lot. But it’s odd.
I’m pegged as a liberal. But I don’t feel liberal. I feel rational. On the opposite side, there’s Ted Nugent. Just the other day, at an event for Mitt Romney and the NRA, this is what Ted had to say, “If President Obama is re-elected in November, by this time next year, I’ll either be dead or in jail.”
I’d like to personally invite Ted Nugent to meet me in Florida. If I’m going to be in the same country where Ted Nugent is allowed to say the kind of things which ended-up with Gabby Giffords being shot in the face, I want to be in a state where the law of the land is “Stand Your Ground.”
The president should feel threatened. The country should feel threatened. I know I feel threatened. It’s terrifying. But I’m not afraid of being afraid. I’m afraid of doing nothing when I’m afraid.
The Secret Service should take a break from fucking whores and stand the president’s ground. Once Ted Nugent is shot in the face, and the presidency is secure, I’m perfectly okay with The Secret Service going back to doing what they do best in their downtime: fuck whores.
Hey, it’s healthy. Seriously, it’s a healthy release.
Sex is healthy, with someone you love, and pay, or someone you don’t love, and pay. Either way, you pay. Whether it’s with time or a lifetime or your credit card. You pay. We all pay.
So I don’t know why this is news. You’re surprised? Really? You’re outraged? Really!!?
Men who are hired to protect the presidency, men who are hired killers, men whose job description includes jumping in front of a bullet, these guys are into fucking whores, these guys are into bragging about having access to the president and fucking whores. And you’re surprised? Given the mindset, to me, it sounds pretty reasonable.
Which begs the question, am I liberal? Or waaaaaaaay left? Or maybe, just maybe, case-by-case, I’m a grown-up who’s able to take a look at things, and come to a grown-up decision. I’ll tell you what, Hank; I’m going to take a minute to clear up a few things. I’m going to lay out my beliefs.
Here we go!
I hope everyone marries someone they get to spend the rest of their lives dreading having sex with, straight or gay. Love is love. You don’t get in the middle of sexual chemistry. It’s none of your damn business. Even if you’re uncomfortable. Especially if you’re uncomfortable. Love is love and it’s not supposed to make sense to anybody but the people feeling love. So get over yourself.
Speaking of stupidness as a disease, I hope everyone gets the best possible health care, even Ted Nugent, after he gets shot in the face.
Speaking of going rogue, go ahead and keep your guns. But keep this in mind: keeping your precious guns doesn’t mean we can’t have a meaningful debate about your precious guns. Stop beating mindlessly on the 2nd Amendment Drum. If you tried to overthrow The American Government, they’d invoke The Patriot Act, take away your arsenal, arrest and detain you, indefinitely, using every possible means to label you in the media as a “Terror Loving Terrorist.”
Safeways aren’t for guns. Schools aren’t for guns. You don’t resolve road rage by pulling out a gun. Don’t give me the bullshit argument, “I’d rather have a gun and not need one than need a gun and not have one.” You’re not Dirty Harry. Dirty Harry wasn’t Dirty Harry. Dirty Harry was Clint Eastwood and Clint Eastwood started his career by playing opposite an orangutan, Clyde.
You’re a white trash asshole in a nigger-hating-cowboy hat and threatening the president by comparing him to a coyote that’s broken into your home and is pissing on your couch and needs to be shot, and killed, isn’t a metaphor. It’s inflammatory. It’s dangerous. It crosses every line in the sand and is deserving of duct tape being forcibly placed over your irrelevant fucking mouth for the rest of your irrelevant fucking life, Ted.
Speaking of stupid white people, willful lying is a crime. The 1st Amendment shouldn’t protect liars. I’m for accountability, without accountability, The American Dream is a Fantasy. Consequently, bankers should be charged, AIG should return their bonuses and The Bush Administration should be called before an international war crimes tribunal to answer for torture.
Speaking of water boarding Dick Cheney, in the future, if you don’t have the balls to raise taxes to pay for war, you’re not allowed to wage war. If the boys and girls in uniform are willing to put their lives on the line and we’re not willing to pony-up our dimes and nickels, it’s not a war. It’s a hoax. Spending a surplus and bankrupting America isn’t a strategy for securing our borders, it’s a strategy for gutting entitlements.
Speaking of which, they’re not entitlements. They’re accomplishments. It’s time for the right to acknowledge Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and ObamaCare as accomplishments, gifts to the future, like back roads, highways, offramps, Lake Shore Drive, subways, buses, crosswalks, bicycle lanes, public bathrooms (integrated), public education (integrated), and teachers. Yes, even gym teachers, especially gym teachers, given the obesity epidemic.
These aren’t liberal accomplishments. They’re everybody’s accomplishments, for crying out loud, Hank.