Birthday Brat

On December 24th, I’ll be 42. That’s 8 years older than Dr. King when he asked us to Dream, 11 years older than John Lennon when he asked us to Imagine, 18 years older than Tonya Harding when she bashed in Nancy Kerrigan’s knee. These people changed the world with words, music and a very precisely aimed crowbar. On December 24th, I’ll be 42.

I learned a lot this week about compromise. I watched President Obama in Copenhagen close the deal on climate change, but not get everything environmentalists wanted. I watched the senate in a snowstorm close the deal on health care, but not get everything progressives wanted. I watched my brother have an entirely full restaurant on Friday night, and still leave the room upset, needing to get black out drunk. I finally understand what it means to compromise. For adults, compromise means neither side is entirely happy, but working together is more important than winning. For brats, compromise means threaten with a filibuster but never offer a solution, or protest in Copenhagen but never run for office, or come to Joey’s Brickhouse with a $25 coupon but stiff the waitress on her tip.

On December 24th, I’ll be 42. That’s 7 years younger than Charles Bukowski when he wrote his first novel, “Post Office,” 19 years younger than PT Barnum when he launched “The Greatest Show On Earth,” 2 years younger than Sarah Palin when she played dress up on the campaign trail. These people changed the world with poems, freak shows and a very precisely aimed wink. On December 24th, I’ll be 42.

I learned a lot this week about letting go. I’m done with Joe Lieberman. I’m done with Howard Dean. I’m done with Monica Lewinsky. That’s right, Monica Lewinsky. It took her 12 years, but she wrote a book. There hasn’t been this much excitement about a book since “Going Rogue.” Joe Lieberman and Howard Dean could learn a lot from Sarah Palin and Monica. Here are the lessons: don’t forget to look directly in the camera when you wink; don’t forget to hire a writer so you can write a book; and the most important lesson of all, if you’re having an affair with a married man – listen up if you’re one of Tiger’s girls – if you’re having an affair with a married man, the only time you open your mouth is to swallow…your pride.

On December 24th, I’ll be 42. That’s 25 years younger than Joe Lieberman and 19 years younger than Howard Dean, or , another way of looking at it, and in alphabetical order:

27 years younger than Lamar Alexander, 15 years younger than John Barrasso, 34 years younger than Robert Bennett, 28 years younger than Christopher Bond (no girl for you, Mister Bond).

11 years younger than Sam Brownback, 36 years younger than Jim Bunning, 12 years younger than Richard Burr, 20 years younger than Thomas Carper, 24 years younger than Saxby Chambliss (what a great name, too bad he’s a douche).

19 years younger than Tom Coburn, 30 years younger than Thad Cochran, 15 years younger than Susan Collins, 15 years younger than Bob Corker, 15 years younger than John Cornyn, 16 years younger than Jim DeMint (DeMint? Don’t worry, he didn’t DeMean it).

9 years younger than John Ensign, 12 years younger than Lindsey Graham, 34 years younger than Chuck Grassley, 20 years younger than Judd Greg, 33 years younger than Orrin Hatch, 24 years younger than Kay Bailey Hutchison (mmmkay, Kay).

33 years younger than Jim Inhofe, 23 years younger than Johnny Isakson, 17 years younger than Mike Johanns, 25 years younger than Jon Kyl, 2 years older than George LeMieux (nice going, George).

35 years younger than Dick Lugar, 31 years younger than John McCain, 25 years younger than Mitch McConnell, 10 years younger than Lisa Murkowski, 24 years younger than Jim Risch, 31 years younger than Pat Roberts, 21 years younger than Jeff Sessions, 33 years younger than Richard Shelby, 20 years younger than Olympia Snowe (shame on you, Olympia).

6 years younger than John Thune, 6 years younger than David Vitter, 31 years younger than George Voinovich, 16 years younger than Roger Wicker.

These people tried to stop the world from changing by stamping their feet, throwing tantrums and threatening a very precisely aimed filibuster. On December 24th, I’ll be 42. Which, compared to these brats, makes me big boy. I learned a lot this week about what it is to be a big boy and what it is to be a goddamn brat.

Speaking of which, one more obnoxious comment, Jack, and I’m putting you in a Time Out.

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0 Responses to Birthday Brat

  1. Shirley Stone says:


    Happy Happy Birthday! Happy Holidays! Hope New Year’s Eve at Joey’s Brickhouse is a HUGE success!

    Enjoyed your show today. Too bad people are taking advantage of the coupon and being pigs. Where was the coupon available?

    It’s so true what you said about the restaurant business, “too many moving parts”.


  2. Gregor says:

    thanks, shirley. at the very least, we’re hoping new years eve at joey’s brickhouse will be “thumpy.”

    the coupon ran in the chicago sun times. we put a sign in the door after today’s show. here’s what it says: $25 coupons no longer accepted. thanks to all our listeners for their invaluable advice.

    there too many moving parts in the restaurant business as well as in romance. but when it works, it feels like an opera!

  3. vinVegas says:

    I wet myself laughing at the coupon story on the radio. What a fantastic idea. I would had taken two coupon to the Brickhouse, sat down, ordered a glass of water and then demanded $50 in cash back.

    Greg, you were on to something. You would have been the most happening restaurant in Chicago. The brokest, but the busiest.

  4. Walnut says:

    Wow. This Blog has a lot of math in it. My poor little brain hurts. Maybe the Senators just need a nap. At their advanced ages it would probably help.

  5. vinVegas says:

    How old are you gonna be Gregor, when the people of our country realize that the war right now is not being fought in Afghanistan? The war is being fought inside Pakistan. The CIA and Blackwater are heavily engaged there. Shit, that’s were the real terrorists, or should I reminisce, Al Quaida, is actually at.

    There are problems with that. One, we don’t have a declared war there. Two, it could cause a major problem with the Pakistani government.

    Side note: What do you call a group of Polish terrorists? A Pack of Stanleys.

    So, Gregor, how old will you be?

  6. AdamEvil says:

    I am 4 inches shorter than Abraham Lincoln, 3 inches shorter than Lyndon Baines Johnson, 2 1/2 inches shorter than Bill Clinton, 2 inches shorter than George H. W. Bush, 1 inch shorter than Ronald Reagan, 1 1/2 inches taller than Dwight D. Eisenhower, 2 inches taller than Theordore Roosevelt and 8 inches taller than James Madison.

  7. Babs says:

    The long and short of it is we get the gov’t we deserve!!

  8. Gregor says:

    naps are always a good idea. matter of fact, i’m taking one right now: zzzzzzzzzzzz.

  9. Gregor says:

    12, emotionally. 73, intellectually.

  10. Gregor says:

    so…you’re comparing cock sizes.

  11. Gregor says:

    not true. we get the government we vote for. we’re a lot less helpless than we’d like to believe. for governor, i voted for rich whiteny. who’d you vote for, babs?

  12. Gregor says:

    i’m the brokest, happiest guy in town.

  13. Babs says:

    I voted for Blago as did the majority of Chicagoans-which makes my point-we get the gov’t we deserve! You didn’t-I did!! Sorry!!!

  14. Gregor says:

    you can’t be sorry! that’s my role in the family.

  15. vinVegas says:

    All of the politicians are the same. No, really. They sit in confidential rooms laughing that we see a difference in their crazy display of politics. In the end, the just keep moving on. They play whatever role they think the public will tolerate, and then abuse that role to the max, just a hair short of revolution. it’s brilliant.

  16. vinVegas says:

    This jsut in, Dean say don’t kill the bill yet.

  17. Gregor says:

    that’s because, unlike you, he’s engaged but still listening. you’re starting to sound like conspiracy steve, only interested in backing yourself out of a decision you’ve already made.

  18. Gregor says:

    bullshit. gore was nothing like bush. obama was nothing like mccain. in chicago, rich whitney was nothing like rod blagojevich. this is such small thinking, i’m shocked, vinVegas. it’s too one dimensional.

  19. vinVegas says:


    I do think there is more going on than people belive. Does that mean you should slap me with name calling derrogatives and dismiss my thoughts as idiotic?

    I said there is no real difference in the parties. Am I really wrong? Gore was a nothing. He doesn’t count. He won nothing. He lost.

    McCain and Obama seem pretty similar to me. Where do they differ?

    Maybe my mind is small. So I think small. thanks for pointing out my small mind. However, my small thoughts in my small mind tell me that we the people are getting is shoved right up our collective asses with the so called Health care Reform.

    It is another classic case (a la Bush) of call it exactly what its not. It is actually a huge giveaway to insurance companies with no strings attached.

    Have you stopped to think that you, with your big brain, and big thinking, might be dead wrong? Maybe you are all aboard the big brain wash express. You want so desperately to believe that this is just like what happened with the creation of social security. You were sold that idea. The facts are different. But don’t let those get in the way of the train wreck….brain wash express.

  20. vinVegas says:

    Have you stopped to think that you, with your big brain, and big thinking, might be dead wrong? Maybe you are all aboard the big brain wash express. You want so desperately to believe that this is just like what happened with the creation of social security. You were sold that idea. The facts are different. But don’t let those get in the way of the train wreck….brain wash express.

  21. vinVegas says:

    Take you big brain and big thoughts over to this article…read this and tell me what you think with that big brain. please. And tell me what I should think with my small mind and small thoughts.

  22. vinVegas says:

    no big ideas?

  23. Babs says:

    As i said to you before-small steps. A family of 4 making $50,000 will not have to pay more than 8% of their income-the balance the gov’t will subsidize. There is a 15% cap on insurance overhead in the bill where before it was 50%. Small steps. It is not all we wanted but we have many years to improve it. There are some significant changes. Small steps for your small mind! Love ya!

  24. Vinvegas says:

    $4,000 is a lot to pay when you bring home $25,000. They should pay zero. And if anyone in the household has high colesterol, high bp, heart problems or a cold, they wil pay 4xs that. It will be unaffordable.

  25. crazy conspiracy steve says:

    can you elaborate since maybe you can tell me something about myself..If i really wanted to just cling to my beliefs, i would not have let them be dramatically altered throughout my life..i would think more like my father.i try to go with where the evidence and my intuition takes it..i cling to other things but i dont think i cling to my beliefs..but i do cling to the belief that i dont cling to my beliefs!!

  26. crazy conspiracy steve says:

    family of four making 50000 is not alot..i make around that and could hardly afford to live..i could not afford anything for healthcare..right now my employer pays my beneifts and my kids are on the schip i dont see how this helps me..but i have not read the bill so i could be wrong..

  27. bf says:

    If you lose your job the gov will pay your premiums … It’s a start

  28. bf says:

    If you make under 30k the gov pays your premium

  29. Ovi says:

    hey, I ahve a great idea. why don’t we all just work for the governement. they can pay us a check for doing nothing. They can give us health care. They can pay for everything. Sure that’s great.

    That is what America has come to. Everyone I meat knows many people on SSI and SSDI and medicare and medicaide and food stamps and more and more. This once great antion has turned into a nation of hand outs and “take care of me’ers.”

    Buy your own health care. Get a job. Work. Or, even better, join the army.

  30. AdamEvil says:

    All of you are talking about emotional things. Not the facts. You want health care reform. You don’t. It is very difficult to really see what is being offered or denied. The plans, and the alternatives, are hidden, and what we see is difficult to interpret.

    New-ish organizations report their slant, you followers of those organizations believe what you hear, not facts, and make opinions.

    The fact is, we don’t have the facts. That is my problem with the whole mess. My brain isn’t big, it isn’t small, just right.

  31. AdamEvil says:

    News-ish organizations.

    ***note to editor of the site. No spell check. Word limit far too short. Not option for BOLD or otherwise. No input nfor pictures. Why the the security code? Are you affraid of being infiltrated by Joe Scarbro? And what about one of those $25 coupons for your contributors?

  32. Gregor says:

    my brain is not big. my opinions are not fixed. i’m still holding on for single-payer, the public option and medicare buy-ins. i’m dumb enough to think we’re gonna get there. i’ll do my part. which is dumb and exhausting, but worth it.

  33. Gregor says:

    aliens, ron paul, barack is “one of them.” these are all an extension of the same belief, in other words, everything is outside of our control. don’t get me wrong, they are all interesting beliefs. but you’re clinging to the same idea with a different set of absolutes.

  34. Gregor says:

    no big ideas. not here. just day to day questions. and links people ask me to read to reinforce their beliefs. thank you for the link.

  35. Gregor says:

    yes, join the army. trade bullets for band-aids.

  36. Gregor says:

    first it was cash for clunkers. now it’s coupons for contributions. what a country!

  37. Gregor says:

    to be brutal, to be frank, listen to brutally frank.

  38. Gregor says:

    it’s hard for some people to hear “this is a start” when they’ve been listening to jim morrison all these years sing “this is the end.”

  39. jlove says:

    sometimes when you smell roses, you get a bee sting on the nose.

  40. STEVEN says:

    i had absolutes i would not believe 911 was an inside job because i was fooled for four years..that did not happen in a reality was shattered.. just like it was when i realized about the aliens intervention in my life..the people that did 911 are still have not been brought to justice and still in could i possibly support somebody who is killing millions of people based on a lie? How could you? I’ve been a liberal democrat, i never even knew who ron paul was..but like him i believe printing money out of thin air is immoral and unconstitutional..and he has 330 cosponsors in the house to audit the far obama has been silent on this..

  41. steven says:

    you should try to tell the webmaster to enable hyperlinks on your site

  42. vinVegas says:

    $50,000 after taxes is about $25,000. $4,000 of that is huge to pay. And by the way, people aren’t worried about losing their jobs. They don’t have them to begin with.

  43. All Te Glitters says:

    Like many other Jewish media moguls, Gerald M. Levin (the head of HBO AOL Time Warner) who took over CNN from Ted Turner in the mid-1990s is also a member of the Media Lodge of B’nai B’rith. The Zionists wanted complete control of the USSA mass media and conspired to get CNN away from Turner’s control.

  44. Allthat Glitters says:

    Most are too stupid to think and chew gum at the same time, and as such, are programmed by the propaganda they are bombarded with through their TVs, radios and newspapers. They still believe their government and the people in charge have their best interest at heart, they believe what they see on TV, hear on the radio, and what they read in the newspaper. They still believe in witches.
    “Once we squeeze all we can out of the United States, it can dry up and blow away.” – Benjamin Netanyahu. A comment made by Netanyahu to Jonathan Pollard (convicted traitor and spy) upon exiting Pollard’s jail cell.

    Great Link Steve

  45. All that Glitters says:

    Obama’s chief of staff Rahm Emanuel comes from 2 B’nai B’rith families of Chicago the Auerbach and the Smulevitz clans. Michael Goff the founding manager of Ptech the Mossad Trojan Horse of 9-11 is the son and grandson of the leading B’nai B’rith 32nd Degree Masons of Worcester Massachusetts. The secret society of B’nai B’rith now has immense influence in virtually every town and village across the rotting USA. The judge and your lawyer are probably all members of the same secret society.

  46. Babs says:

    There’s always alittle truth in everything conspiracy theorists blog about. Glitter meet Steve!

  47. Steve Fan says:

    We leave this decade poorer than when we entered it. That is the result of having lived spectacularly beyond our means. We have, quite simply, not earned enough to afford the lifestyle we have chosen for ourselves: and now we are paying the price. Yet whose fault was that? Foolishly, many blame the bankers, easy scapegoats in a society driven by envy because of their champagne-stoked lifestyles and their vast bonuses. They also took idiotic decisions that imperilled the savings of their customers and the value of their shares – decisions that depleted the pension funds of millions of Britons.
    But how were they allowed to do this? The answer is painfully simple. The same Government that refused to regulate the bankers properly also allowed an insane amount of liquidity to go into the economy, which gave them cheap material with which to play casino economics.

  48. Babs says:

    Alot of poeple made alot of money, and it’s a net even game. When alot of people make alot of money, alot of people lose alot of money! Tom Hartmann on WACPT radio makes alot of sense. Tkae the tax rate back up on people making more than $1,000,000. That’s a good beginning!

  49. jojo says:

    What is the name of the alien race conspiracy Steve talks about? I want to read the facts.

  50. Fan of Steve Fan says:

    Steve makes a lot of sense. I think Joey puts him down because he seems to put down anyone who challenges what Joey thinks is automatically true because Joey believes it.

    We are certainly poorer than when we started this decade. We certainly let casino economics overtake voodoo economics. Why are there no criminal investigations? What is Eric Holder waiting for? A permission slip from The Fed? It’s sad…

    Happy New Year.

  51. WCPT Listener says:

    Tom Hartmann is interesting when he’s not putting me to sleep. I LOVE Brutally Frank. When is he getting his own show?

  52. Alien says:

    The facts are out there. Spend a little time online. Besides on RedTube, Jojo. Not that there’s anything wrong with RedTube.

  53. WebMaster says:

    Thanks, Steve. I’m working on it.

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